It all started with good intentions. For context, I was going on vacation to Cancun. It’s one of our favorite places to visit. I ran into a little mishap: my passport had expired. So like a well-disposed citizen of the good, I thought, “Why not take care of this now?”

Passport renewal is a relatively simple process.

1. Complete the six-page form.

2. Print a new passport photo.

3. Send the above documents along with your check for the renewal fee.

Pretty simple, right? I don’t have a printer because every time I do, it fails me in the rare moment of need. It whines and squeaks and jams, and I flirt with the idea of ​​taking a baseball bat to it.

Luckily I live right next to a CVS that I was told in good faith could print these things. I walk up and the CVS lady says, “We can’t print forms, but we can print photos at these two stands!”

Each booth already has a computer open with a photography program. I sit down. The first computer immediately crashes as soon as I take my first breath, with an error code that looks like hieroglyphs. When it becomes clear that this older computer will be rebooting for three years, I go to the second computer, only to realize that its monitor is broken.

I go back to the first computer and finally get it working again. I had already taken a selfie to use. All I had to do was upload the file and print it. But every time I tried to upload it – the software crashed.

After playing with it for 10 minutes, I call the lady, “I’m sorry. This program seems to crash every time I try to print.”

She says, “I’m not sure. I don’t know much about computers. Some guy comes in every two weeks to update them. You’re not trying to print a passport photo, are you?”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Oh — well, that part is broken. Sorry.”

There’s a FedEx across the street. I tried to stay positive and thought, “Hey, I need to print a renewal form. I’ll see if they can print both over there.”

A friendly FedEx lady greets me at this large, bustling FedEx center with lots of printers and office supplies. I explain what I need, and she smiles: “You’re in luck! We have a special computer area here. You can do everything online, and we can take your passport photo, too.”

He guides me and sits me down. I log in and start going through the process. I think, “Great! I can do everything at once and be done.”

I enter my credit card information. I order an expedited passport for $189.99. Expedited shipping is $19 each way. That rounds up to $261.

It’s a bit more than I planned to spend, but it’s worth it for the convenience. The order is initiated. I get to the second screen. On this screen, there’s a tiny note: “This fee does not include the $215 government fee.”

That was my record-breaking scratch moment. They made it look like the portal was all-inclusive. I ask the manager and she doesn’t know the answer: “We’re just a middleman for this program. You have to call the 800 number that’s taped to your monitor.”

I say, “Okay. I’ll call. But I have to ask. With all these fees, I’m looking at almost $500 for a passport. Doesn’t that seem a little high for a passport? I paid $180 recently.”

She pauses, then nods: “Er, yeah, that seems pretty high. Again, I’m not sure how this all works.”

It’s worth noting that her badge reads “Senior Manager.”

I go back to the computer section and call tech support. I go through a bunch of extensions and cancel the order 20 minutes later.

It turns out that this friendly computer lab at FedEx was the target of a robbery.

They made you fill out a passport form on a cute little portal when all along you could have easily printed it out and mailed it in. They even structured the expedited fee to look the same as the government fee so you’d think that’s what you were paying for.

Two hours into this exercise and I have nothing to show for it. At this point, all I wanted was a small victory. Before leaving, I go to my manager: “Is there any chance I can at least print out a passport photo?”

He says, “Of course! This is my coworker Michael. He’d be happy to help you.”

Michael smiles and shakes my hand. His tag says “Assistant Manager,” although at this stage that doesn’t mean much. I hope we can make it happen.

Michael says, “I’ll take you to that place, and then I’ll get the camera.”

He takes me to this big white wall with the words “PASSPORT PHOTOS” written on a sign above a square of white. He makes me stand in front of the square, then walks away to get my camera. I stand there awkwardly, like I’m in line to get into prison, while some old man on a bench stares at me for no reason.

A minute later Michael returns. He says, “Unfortunately, it turns out our camera is broken.”

I say, “Can I email you a photo and you can print it for me? I’ll gladly pay whatever the fee is.”

He says, “I’m not sure. Let me check.” (Seems like something an assistant manager would know, right?)

At this point I can hardly contain my frustration, but I do.

He comes back and says they can print the photo. He leads me to the desk and says, “Send your photo to 1383usa@fedex — ” Someone behind him interrupts and says, “That’s the wrong email address, Michael. It’s 1565.”

I send a message and say, “The subject of my email will say: Sean Kernan Passport Photo.”

A few seconds later he says, “What did you say the subject of this email was?”

“Sean Kernan Passport Photo”

“Ah! Found it. Sean Kernan’s passport photo.”

And as if this comedy of errors were not enough, the printer jams and you have to go get a new ink cartridge, which takes even more time.

Finally they brought me a passport photo. The manager went to check me out at the cash register.

I pulled out my credit card and she said, “You know what. You look like you’ve been through a lot. How about we just pay for the color mascara instead of the full fee?”

And so, three hours and ninety cents later, I left FedEx with a passport photo.

I decided to complete the remaining two steps later. I needed a few days to regain my sanity.

I’m calling this a “Patience Exercise” day. Sometimes a bad day is really a reflection of other people’s bad days.

Sometimes the stars align and companies fall short of their standards. All the processes, people, and variables that shape performance collide like two trains.

I’ve found that I generally get most upset when my expectations are violated. It’s an exercise in control that isn’t realistic or requires no patience. Maybe I should just go out into the world expecting incompetence, and then everything from there will be a pleasant surprise. Maybe my new Kernan motto could be, “Oh wow, the printer works!”

I am a former financial analyst turned writer from sunny Tampa, Florida. I started writing eight years ago in my spare time and fell in love with the craft. My goal is to provide content based on non-fiction stories that help us live better and maximize our potential.